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  • Writer's pictureLisa Wain

Belated Christmas pictures and New Year wishes.

A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each of you! I hope the Christmas season was a wonderful one for you all and that your Christmas goodies contained lots of flavor and zero calories. Also, a very special shoutout to all the moms out there still totally losing their minds trying to find a place for all these new toys. I feel your pain. It's January 3rd and I'm still putting together new toys and beginning yet again to reorganize my son's bedroom layout just to try and fit all his "stuff". Pro Tip: If you name your son "Benjamin Bruce Wain" everyone in your life will buy him every Batman item that ever existed for every holiday that ever existed. #truestory

Last I left you we had just left for our Disney World vacation. I had intended to blog our trip in its entirety, however, as most of you know by now, the trip did not go according to plan. At the very least I will have a trip recap but my usual daily reports are just not happening this time since my daily note keeping had to take a backseat to me pushing Matt and the kids around in a wheelchair for two days before the electric wheelchair was finally rented. I promise lots of fun in that post pretty soon but if you're hoping for a bigger Disney fix you'll have to wait 39 more days until our next Disney adventure aboard the Disney Wonder. Barring any unforeseen football incidents with my 40 year old manchild, I should be back to my daily blog posts for that trip.

I had also intended to post a special Christmas post... you know... BEFORE Christmas, but life happens and family comes first. Unfortunately, only a few days after we arrived home from Disney World, and just a week and a half before Christmas, we lost my dad's youngest brother to cancer. Thankfully, he had a personal relationship with Jesus so we know he's no longer suffering and in heaven waiting for us, but it's still tough for those left here without him. I was so proud of my dad. As most of you know, he's a Pastor and was previously asked by his brother to do the funeral when it came time so he was happy to do it, but it was a lot for him. Talk about a hard task, officiating the funeral of your younger brother. My dad's pretty incredible though and did an awesome job! Needless to say though, it just didn't feel appropriate to be lightheartedly posting about my first world, picture day problems at that time. Now that we're all back in our rhythm of everyday life though, I decided to find some time to get back on here and finally tell you about how the dreaded Christmas Picture Day 2019 went. Before I start though, just one more bit of housekeeping to mention before I get to it. I noticed that my blog is deleting older blog post's comments. Just want you all to know that it's not me deleting them. I love seeing your comments and I try to respond to each. If I were a bit more tech savvy I'd be able to assure you that I have fixed this problem, but being that I am not a millennial (thank God), I have no idea what's going on and had to contact technical support. So in about three months I'm sure someone in India will get me my answer and all those awesome comments will be back. In the meantime though, don't stop leaving comments on my blog. I am seeing them, even if you are not. As you recall from my earlier post, All Is Not As It Appears, picture day is the absolute worst part of parenting for me. It should be qualified as an Olympic sport so therefore I would not be qualified or welcomed to participate. Since that is not the case, instead, I feel there should be a service where someone comes and gets your kids from you, has hair, make up, and wardrobe available to them, takes the kids' perfect pictures while you're at the spa, and then delivers the kids back to you just in time for bedtime so you can put them to bed and then enjoy the evening looking at the most perfect, stress-free pictures of your littler terrorists, that have already had copies printed and sent to all of your family in every size and orientation they need, while you also receive the masters in a perfect little organized photo box so if Y2K 5.0 ever happens you still have a hard copy of your pictures. I would pay literally any amount of money for that kind of service. Someone get a millennial on that before my kids are grown and I won't care anymore 'cause I seriously get myself so stressed out every time that I become Momzilla. This year's picture day was no different. No, actually it was worse. Much, much worse. You see, this year I thought I had finally worked up enough of a Picture Day stress callous that I could finally get us a professional picture of our entire family. Matt and I last got professional pictures together 7.5 years ago and that was at our wedding as I really never want to go through that kind of stress level ever again in my life. Getting my two little "treasures" prepped and ready for pictures is bad enough but to include myself and Matt. Matt?! Nah, man. Nah. Well, this year I got arrogant. My photographer wrote me last minute to inform me that Matt & I could jump in the pictures if we wanted and I took her bait. Really, though, the pictures went great considering. There wasn't a vomit filled outfit or anything like that this year, but when I'm stressed over something "silly" like this, Matt shows no mercy and that day was no different.

The day started with Vivian and a head of hair full of static. I looked over at her to tell her it was time to get ready for pictures to see her looking like a walking science experiment. I spent most of the morning trying to tame her static locks to no avail. While I was trying to tame the beast's main, Matt found this an opportune time to try and offer me some "critical advice" about my bathroom cleaning routine. He didn't get much more out after, "Can I offer you some critical advice..." before I interrupted him with, "Today?! You're really going to try and talk to me about something like this today?!" He quickly realized the error of his ways and moved on to helping me get Benjamin's shoes on that literally take two people and WD40 to get on, after of course Matt played catch with Benjamin using his freshly ironed shirt as the ball. You seriously can't make this up. Thankfully before I knew it it was time to head to the photographer's studio. Even though it was around freezing, we drove with the windows open to help hinder any car sickness for Vivian, though her hair was a casualty of that decision. Whatever it takes to get the job done vomit free. We arrived to the studio early like out photographer suggested. Really, I don't know why I bother because then I just spend what feels like an eternity trying to police the kids and manchild, keeping them looking all perfect and Christmasy. This year having Matt in the mix was "extra" since he found the moments before our pictures were taken the perfect opportunity to play fight with my son risking his perfectly combed hair and play keep away with my daughter's shoe. Here he was looking like the most fund dad ever, which he is, while I was looking like a complete momster to the woman at the front desk area, but I didn't care. I'm getting those pictures! You know who else didn't care... about his own well-being that is? Matt. Matt likes to live dangerously and that morning was no exception. I don't know what part of Matt's life is more dangerous, his motorcycle riding or his life choices in my presence. You see, Matt likes to poke the bear. (I'm the bear.) Well, he was there to "help" in his mind but in my mind he was only there as a prop for a final picture of all of us together looking like a totally well-adjusted family. I purposely have never brought Matt to picture day since I do value him and our marriage and when I'm in full on anxiety mode there's no telling what I might do. Unfortunately for him, he either still hasn't learned this fact or just likes to live dangerously for his own amusement. (Spoiler alert: it's the latter) He spent the 15 minutes we were waiting to take our pictures, that felt like an eternity, getting the kids all amped up causing me great stress. There was running, jumping, diving, wrestling, and every other ill-advised activity that you could think of happening while my head was nearly spinning like a top with steam pouring out. I'm sure the lady working the desk thought I was certifiable, and if we're being honest, I kinda am when it comes to anxiety, so nothing new there, but Matt showed no mercy though, laughing off every warning I gave him and the kids. To his credit, he does this with good intentions thinking maybe just this once it will actually lighten me up. Hasn't worked yet, but God knows he'll keep trying! At about this point I even started twitching then finally, finally all was lost. Matt pushed that last button and next thing I know I was swinging... my fist... towards his stomach. This was no warning shot. No. I made contact with his tub full of jelly at about 75% force. Sorry, not sorry. Although, if I'm being honest, once the pictures were done and I started to come down off my picture anxiety ledge, I wondered if it was a bit too much. Matt later confirmed that it was indeed a little forceful but he knew what he was doing. He doesn't lovingly call me his "crazy Sicilian" for nothing. That is a loving nickname, right? Once we were home, I went back to the totally normal, never anxious wife and mom that I usually am (ha!) while I waited the week to see the final result of our pictures. I did still take the kids to our scheduled backup photoshoot at JCPenny's since this time of year you can get all the digitals for only $49.99 so I wanted that extra insurance, not to mention they do pictures with Santa that are awesome and beat the mall's version. That day, thankfully, I wasn't near as amped up since Matt wasn't with me and I knew between the two days of pictures, all I needed was one good picture. I did have a moment of panic when I got all the way to our nearest JCPenney's and finished the pictures to then realize I didn't have my purse! Thankfully, those awesome millennials working the register helped me use my cell's apple pay to purchase the pictures. What a world we're living in! Never would have thought of that one on my own! Thankfully, I didn't need those backup pictures since the first set came out amazing. I had to laugh at myself for all the worry I put into their hair when originally the kids were supposed to be in chef hats for the pictures, which I ended up decided against just because I was not about to waste the amount of effort I had put in to get their hair just right. I also found it funny that I put so much effort into their outfits being perfect from head to toe and completely wrinkly-free only to have the pictures literally only show their sleeves. #facepalm

Now that's over I'll be totally stress free until Easter picture day for sure! Enjoy!

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